Whenever I hear someone on the radio, TV or at church talking about “Their Moment” it always takes me back to trying to figure out “My Moment”. I sort of know when it was, but then again I sometimes find myself unsure.
For a year or so, driving back and forth from college I’d listen to Christian Talk Radio, and every day at 12:30, timed perfectly for my drive from class to work, I’d listen to R.C. Sproll. For some reason the things he had to say and the way in which he said them, really spoke to me. In general I listened to a lot of Christian Talk Radio and had in my mind moved from a point of complete disgust of those who were “religious” to a place where I could see room in my life for God.
But in listening to R.C. Sproll I found myself more and more thinking not about religion and God, but rather about Jesus. This was, as I know now, the one missing piece of the puzzle. This was why I couldn’t see what others were seeing, and explained a lot of the arrogant hostility that probably shaped a lot of who I was back then. I do think that in general I was a nice guy, but at the same time, there was a “not-so-nice” attitude underlying everything, including my perspective on God and religion.
At some point, in September/October of 1997 several things began to come together. And a couple of things had to do with apparent random news items that otherwise would not have impacted my life. Perhaps their close proximity to each other time-linewise is what brought them to bear in my life. I really can’t say, but I do believe that it was the time in my life when the Spirit was moving in on me and I was going to have to make a choice.
When I think about those two items now, they sort of seem emotionally wimpy and silly, especially to be pegged as the cause for a 23 year old to question his reason for existence, but they did. Princess Diana was killed and Mother Teresa passed away. The events in and of themselves did not cause me to take any action. However I do believe that the following sensationalized, non-stop news coverage of the lives that these two people led somehow caused me to think about my own life in the same terms. And of course, when you go to that place inside yourself, you are walking headfirst into the “image of God”.
FLASHBACK:
One other thing had happened which I tend to leave out of the story. A few months prior, a regular customer at the garden center where I happened to have been working for the past few years came in one day. To be honest, she was pretty old, and quite frankly on this particular day looked like she was in fact dead, which was really creeping me out. Of course, since she was standing right there in front of me, it was unlikely that she was dead. But then she said something out of the ordinary. She cited a Bible verse. Somewhere I have that verse written down, but at the time I was mystified, and the entire event seemed like something very “spooky” and yet as if a message was being given me. However I was pretty dense. I’m sure she said ACTS #:#, however I heard AXE #:#. I went home and tried to look up AXE in an old, dusty copy of a Bible my grandma had given me 15 or so years earlier, but had no luck.
BACK TO THE STORY AT HAND:
So let’s review, I found myself reading and researching God’s word because of some weird thing a walking-dead old lady said. My radio, which I strangely kept tuned to Christian Talk all the time, continued to pound in a message that I was at that time deaf to. Then the deaths of 2 strangers on the other side of the world somehow took me on an introspective journey to who I actually was and why. Well all of this leads to one of the “moments” in question. I wrote a prayer.
I was big on writing poetry, but this was definitely a prayer. I remember I tricked myself into writing it by telling myself that it was a poem that just looked like a prayer, but it was most definitely a prayer. And in this prayer I confessed that no matter how hard I tried to think about Jesus or “love him”, I found myself reviled that I would be so “wimpy” and basically considered such a thought border line homosexual, which made it even more revolting. But in this one page written prayer, among other things, I made mention that I hated the devil and that I felt like he was a roaring lion in my life, and I asked God to make me love Jesus, because I could not get around this roadblock that the World was throwing in the way. So, was that “my moment” right there? I don’t know…did I in that moment ask Jesus into my life? Anyway, from here, other things happened.
My 9 year old sister had been going to a church with the people that lived directly behind us. It is another story to tell how God had led us to that house, however he had most definitely taken our entire family to that home for a very specific reason.
My dad had visited one Sunday morning as a courtesy to the family behind us and to see what kind of place it was that his youngest daughter had been attending with these “strangers”.
The next Sunday, I went with my dad, my mom and my future wife. We went to the church service, but Satan was definitely in fine form that morning in trying to stop us from getting there. I even stepped in Dog Stuff on the way to the car that morning, and that always is a bad start to a day. We got there, and being very self-conscious about everything, I felt very conspicuous and don’t think I heard any of the sermon that was preached or anything else. I was more focused on the “goings-on” of the service and wondering when the hypnosis, or whatever, was going to start. It never did. And then something very peculiar happened.
That first morning we attended, they announced that that evening a lady named Joni Tabor was going to be presenting a message. Not a sermon exactly, but she was a singer and it was sort of her ministry work of going around to churches and singing and saying a few words. My future wife and I attended that night, by ourselves. I heard every word she had to say, and at the end of her message, she had an altar call, but not just any altar call. She asked for anyone with all kinds of various needs to come and kneel down in the front of the church. AMAZINGLY, I went forward. I am still astounded to this day that I did that. Then she asked for people to come forward and pray with these people (myself included) who were on their knees at the front of the church. I remember thinking in my very self-conscious way that no one was going to come forward and place their hand on my back to indicate to me that they were praying with me. But AMAZINGLY, someone did. After that prayer time was over, I asked that woman, who I did not know and did not ask her name, to pray for strength for me. It seemed like the easy answer when she had asked if I had any needs that she could pray for me about. Perhaps this was my moment?
Later that week, the preacher from that church called my dad and arranged for an in house visit since basically our whole family had visited the church. I was pretty interested in what he would have to say, just out of curiosity I told myself. When Roger was in our house somehow he asked me why I was there. I told him “I just felt like I was supposed to be there.” I just listened, and asked no questions.
Within a week of that moment in our home, I found myself walking into the church office in the middle of the afternoon, basically as a stranger, asking to talk to the preacher. Once in there, I just blurted out that I needed to get baptized. We arranged a time for 2 days later in the evening, and that was it for me. Maybe this was my moment?
Somewhere in all of that weirdness exists “My Moment”. I’m not sure where, but I am 100% sure that it is in there, somewhere. In August of that same year, I would never have been able to predict where I’d be within 2 months time and what I’d be doing.
One of these days I’m going to FIND that prayer that I had accidentally, on-purpose prayed back in 1997. If I ever do come across it and I’m still blogging, I’ll be sure to post it, word for word, no matter how embarrassing I find it now, because once upon a time, I used it to talk to God for the very first time that mattered.
God is Good All the Time….and He is at work in your life right now.
For a year or so, driving back and forth from college I’d listen to Christian Talk Radio, and every day at 12:30, timed perfectly for my drive from class to work, I’d listen to R.C. Sproll. For some reason the things he had to say and the way in which he said them, really spoke to me. In general I listened to a lot of Christian Talk Radio and had in my mind moved from a point of complete disgust of those who were “religious” to a place where I could see room in my life for God.
But in listening to R.C. Sproll I found myself more and more thinking not about religion and God, but rather about Jesus. This was, as I know now, the one missing piece of the puzzle. This was why I couldn’t see what others were seeing, and explained a lot of the arrogant hostility that probably shaped a lot of who I was back then. I do think that in general I was a nice guy, but at the same time, there was a “not-so-nice” attitude underlying everything, including my perspective on God and religion.
At some point, in September/October of 1997 several things began to come together. And a couple of things had to do with apparent random news items that otherwise would not have impacted my life. Perhaps their close proximity to each other time-linewise is what brought them to bear in my life. I really can’t say, but I do believe that it was the time in my life when the Spirit was moving in on me and I was going to have to make a choice.
When I think about those two items now, they sort of seem emotionally wimpy and silly, especially to be pegged as the cause for a 23 year old to question his reason for existence, but they did. Princess Diana was killed and Mother Teresa passed away. The events in and of themselves did not cause me to take any action. However I do believe that the following sensationalized, non-stop news coverage of the lives that these two people led somehow caused me to think about my own life in the same terms. And of course, when you go to that place inside yourself, you are walking headfirst into the “image of God”.
FLASHBACK:
One other thing had happened which I tend to leave out of the story. A few months prior, a regular customer at the garden center where I happened to have been working for the past few years came in one day. To be honest, she was pretty old, and quite frankly on this particular day looked like she was in fact dead, which was really creeping me out. Of course, since she was standing right there in front of me, it was unlikely that she was dead. But then she said something out of the ordinary. She cited a Bible verse. Somewhere I have that verse written down, but at the time I was mystified, and the entire event seemed like something very “spooky” and yet as if a message was being given me. However I was pretty dense. I’m sure she said ACTS #:#, however I heard AXE #:#. I went home and tried to look up AXE in an old, dusty copy of a Bible my grandma had given me 15 or so years earlier, but had no luck.
BACK TO THE STORY AT HAND:
So let’s review, I found myself reading and researching God’s word because of some weird thing a walking-dead old lady said. My radio, which I strangely kept tuned to Christian Talk all the time, continued to pound in a message that I was at that time deaf to. Then the deaths of 2 strangers on the other side of the world somehow took me on an introspective journey to who I actually was and why. Well all of this leads to one of the “moments” in question. I wrote a prayer.
I was big on writing poetry, but this was definitely a prayer. I remember I tricked myself into writing it by telling myself that it was a poem that just looked like a prayer, but it was most definitely a prayer. And in this prayer I confessed that no matter how hard I tried to think about Jesus or “love him”, I found myself reviled that I would be so “wimpy” and basically considered such a thought border line homosexual, which made it even more revolting. But in this one page written prayer, among other things, I made mention that I hated the devil and that I felt like he was a roaring lion in my life, and I asked God to make me love Jesus, because I could not get around this roadblock that the World was throwing in the way. So, was that “my moment” right there? I don’t know…did I in that moment ask Jesus into my life? Anyway, from here, other things happened.
My 9 year old sister had been going to a church with the people that lived directly behind us. It is another story to tell how God had led us to that house, however he had most definitely taken our entire family to that home for a very specific reason.
My dad had visited one Sunday morning as a courtesy to the family behind us and to see what kind of place it was that his youngest daughter had been attending with these “strangers”.
The next Sunday, I went with my dad, my mom and my future wife. We went to the church service, but Satan was definitely in fine form that morning in trying to stop us from getting there. I even stepped in Dog Stuff on the way to the car that morning, and that always is a bad start to a day. We got there, and being very self-conscious about everything, I felt very conspicuous and don’t think I heard any of the sermon that was preached or anything else. I was more focused on the “goings-on” of the service and wondering when the hypnosis, or whatever, was going to start. It never did. And then something very peculiar happened.
That first morning we attended, they announced that that evening a lady named Joni Tabor was going to be presenting a message. Not a sermon exactly, but she was a singer and it was sort of her ministry work of going around to churches and singing and saying a few words. My future wife and I attended that night, by ourselves. I heard every word she had to say, and at the end of her message, she had an altar call, but not just any altar call. She asked for anyone with all kinds of various needs to come and kneel down in the front of the church. AMAZINGLY, I went forward. I am still astounded to this day that I did that. Then she asked for people to come forward and pray with these people (myself included) who were on their knees at the front of the church. I remember thinking in my very self-conscious way that no one was going to come forward and place their hand on my back to indicate to me that they were praying with me. But AMAZINGLY, someone did. After that prayer time was over, I asked that woman, who I did not know and did not ask her name, to pray for strength for me. It seemed like the easy answer when she had asked if I had any needs that she could pray for me about. Perhaps this was my moment?
Later that week, the preacher from that church called my dad and arranged for an in house visit since basically our whole family had visited the church. I was pretty interested in what he would have to say, just out of curiosity I told myself. When Roger was in our house somehow he asked me why I was there. I told him “I just felt like I was supposed to be there.” I just listened, and asked no questions.
Within a week of that moment in our home, I found myself walking into the church office in the middle of the afternoon, basically as a stranger, asking to talk to the preacher. Once in there, I just blurted out that I needed to get baptized. We arranged a time for 2 days later in the evening, and that was it for me. Maybe this was my moment?
Somewhere in all of that weirdness exists “My Moment”. I’m not sure where, but I am 100% sure that it is in there, somewhere. In August of that same year, I would never have been able to predict where I’d be within 2 months time and what I’d be doing.
One of these days I’m going to FIND that prayer that I had accidentally, on-purpose prayed back in 1997. If I ever do come across it and I’m still blogging, I’ll be sure to post it, word for word, no matter how embarrassing I find it now, because once upon a time, I used it to talk to God for the very first time that mattered.
God is Good All the Time….and He is at work in your life right now.
